Just a short blog entry this time as there is a point where we all need to spend our energies elsewhere and for me this is the last time I will talk or even think about this subject.
I have experienced something twice now that calls in to question my role as an emotional advisor when the going gets tough for others and I have given the type of person who does this act a name. I call them switchers.
Here’s what happens. At some point in the past a person who would normally not seek your council approaches you for advice. Although you find this unusual you still allow them your time and hopefully help them. You now feel that whatever distance there was between you and the person you were advising has gone and you are able to talk freely in a more open and adult manner. Hold that thought for a moment.
What happens is that in the passage of time that person will normally return to the “me” economy we are all so comfortable with today and past deeds no longer count. A kind of social business as usual attitude when their world is fully intact. When they return to “me” world their memory of your past efforts are, in the least case, forgotten or in the worst case angered against.
This is worrisome. How are we meant to gauge who to help in the future if your help will be used against you later on down the road? We all know that it is human nature to take kindness for weakness but to do so for emotional gain must be a new low surely? Are we now at a point where material gain is not enough and we must now try and crush other peoples spirits or act in a grandiose way above our fellow man to feel better about ourselves?
What I can only predict and I am sure I will see a lot more of in the future is a greater distance between those who help for no reason or gain and those who abuse such help. There is an economy of scale with these matters meaning there are far more people who need help than there are helpers.
Those of us who are exploring our own sense of self are able to use the internal dialogue to reach out to the right type of help. Some will use the help of a guru of sort who must be good because I am spending money on their services. Others, will use certified practitioners to “off load” whatever ails them but if your moral compass is off course then you will interpret the help you receive incorrectly and feel that to raise yourself up you must do so on the shoulders of other. The problem with that. The shoulders you stand on will tire of your abuse.
In this fast acting Internet world it is very easy to react without thinking as long as you realise that the same thing will happen to you and it will not be the easiest of situations to deal with if you are unable to have the right internal conversation first.